Man of Many Men

My husband just fixed the sink last week.  It seemed fitting to publish this essay now, from the Hurley archives, dated 3/23/13.....

My husband is the head sensei at a karate school in town, and the students there call him the “Man of Many Men” which they abbreviate as “Momm.”  How they get away with this is a profound mystery, yet somehow my husband seems to like it.

My husband is a tough guy for sure.  Over twenty years of martial arts and five stripes on his black belt make this an unmistakable fact.   He does all the tough things that many guys do, like shoot guns, hunt, and fish.  He is somewhat of a survivalist, always trying to prepare for what may happen next.  And he is aware of all the mental factors that go into keeping himself and his loved ones safe in many situations.  Yet he also likes to do photography, and teaches political science at the university.  And after a lifetime of thinking he had no rhythm he is now learning to play guitar.  His mind is always active, and his evenings are spent searching the web for knowledge about many different things.  He always seems to be able to fix nearly anything, such as cars, lawn mowers, pool cleaners, door frames, clogged pipes, and broken light fixtures.  I’ve heard such people described as having “grit,” the motivation within oneself to persevere and keep trying until they achieve whatever they set out to do.  Occasionally he needs help, but not very often.  He is a great source of advice on basic legal matters also, and seems to be able to find anything needed on the internet.  He is truly a “man of many men,” as his name proclaims.

Yet after nearly 20 years of marriage, I still sometimes wonder what is really going on under his cap.  Kind of like an onion, we have layer upon layer of experiences that make us who we are.  Yet when you peel back the layers of a person it is never clear what you are going to find.  But I guess we are not meant to know such things, and this complexity keeps things interesting and matures us in ways not otherwise possible.

We will have our 20^th wedding anniversary soon, and I certainly hope we both have the health to make it 20 more.  I don’t know how much better I will come to understand him in the next 20 years, but I look forward to the journey.  My daughter is only 11 right now, but if I could look ahead to the type of man I would like her to marry someday, I hope it is a man of integrity who will take care of her needs and protect her, as her father protects and takes care of us; a man with “grit” who will have the motivation to work through challenges relentlessly; a man who has a lot of things working under his cap; perhaps also a “Man of Many Men.”