The Unplanned Pursuit of Patience

My family has wanted to purchase land for years.  My husband has been consistently looking on the internet, and in the past few months my son and I have joined him.  Most of our favorite things to do involve being out in nature, and we love animals.  While we don’t have to move for job or school, we have the financial resources to do so.  Getting land seemed like a reasonable plan.

My daughter has just two years left in high school before she will leave the nest for college.  She is firmly rooted in the Future Farmer’s Association at school.  While she intends to do more animal research in the future than animal husbandry, she is deeply interested in all of it.  We have just two more years before she leaves for college; two more years to see her blossom with the interests which will lead her into her future.

My son is not a boy anymore.  He has transitioned from super heroes to big kid interests.  He loves having adventures in the woods, hunting, throwing his ax, target shooting with his bow and arrow, and similar outdoor activities.  He is ready to have land.  He would like to move. 

We prayed intentionally for guidance on what we should do.  We considered several permutations of getting land—either buying land which we would maintain separately and continue living in our current home, or buying land with a house to which we would move.  We also considered how close the land would need to be, if it were separate, to ensure we would use it often.  Either option restricted our options to close proximity to our current house, as we needed to stay in the same school district.

My father-in-law helped us.  As a real estate agent, he understands things about real estate which we do not.  He diligently drove 2 hours on several occasions to show us land and houses.  He helped us consider our options, and he came back in town for a second look.  He used his decades of real estate experience to help us calculate market values of viewed properties.  

We put bids at different times on two properties.  Each time we were excited.  Neither property was perfect for what we were looking for, yet each had key attributes, and we agreed that we would invest in the properties to address the things that were needed.  We went to the properties and prayed. We were at peace with these decisions.  We did mathematical calculations, and felt we had a fair starting point for price negotiations.  We thought we were on our way!

It is in these times that God teaches us patience.  The first person would not even counter-offer at first.  The second provided a counter-offer nowhere close to where we started.  The first person later offered a counter-offer we were willing to accept, then changed the offer when we came out for a second look.  

We prayed for God to make it clear what we should do.  We prayed that God would put up roadblocks if we were not supposed to move.  God does not just call our cell phone and tell us what to do.  The decision-making process, and the patience required, matures our character.  

So here we are, three weeks after our first offer, learning patience, and offering this whole idea back to God if it isn’t meant to be.  I thank God that we don’t have to move.  I thank God that we don’t have a time crunch to move.  We are blessed by our current house, and it more than meets our needs.  I thank God for the new pergola my husband built this summer, which I am sitting in today as I write this.  And I am thankful for the hummingbird feeder that my husband installed, and the hummingbirds whose wings sound like little motors as they fly by.  

Our desires do not bring us peace, our thankfulness does.  As for the prospect of purchasing land, we simply must have patience. 

A New Taste of Freedom

As a common rite of passage after the sixteenth birthday, many teens learn to drive.  We just passed this milestone in my own family.  My sweet daughter, active in many school clubs and a social butterfly, just got her driver’s license.  In the past 24 hours she took herself to-and-from marching band, FFA, and praise band activities.  Three separate events, for which my husband or I would have been chauffeur, now done independently.  A win for her, and a win for us. 

Sometimes growing up is a bit scary.  New independence also means new risks and new fears.  How one balances this is the big question.  

For my daughter, she has had lots of driving practice and good training.  She is driving a safe vehicle, and she has good friends.  She does not crave speed, and does not intentionally exceed the speed limit.  This does not eliminate the risks, or our fears, yet it helps.  

Today I am sitting in the shade by my pool, drinking a sparkling water and enjoying a day of rest despite my daugther’s busy schedule.  Just two days ago, I would have been tied to her schedule too.  This doesn’t mean that I have no fear about her driving on her own, or that I don’t think about her often.  Yet I have been able to focus my mind on the joys of this occasion rather than on the scary “what if’s” which would have ruined the joy of this transition. 

Perhaps that is the learning point for today.  The battle for our emotions is usually won or lost in our mind.  If we focus on the worries, we will be worried.  If we focus on the joy and other benefits, we will be at peace.  

I know my daughter felt a little awkward driving independently for the first time, yet the joy of this new independence overrode those fears.  She is growing up, and will have many opportunities in her life to face challenges and risks.  I pray that they be as successful as this.