The Search for Integrity in Uncomfortable Places

Being a person of integrity is not an easy thing sometimes.

It's hard to go against the grain when it seems like you're the only one who has the perspective to question the mainstream opinion. In my 20 years of leadership service, I have seen how one solid comment can change the tone of an entire conversation. Most of the time this is for the better. Sometimes it's not. But the power of words has been clearly demonstrated in times like these.

So what should one do when an entire boardroom seems to have an opinion different from their own?  What should that lone board member do?  Being a person of integrity requires them to speak up. Sometimes that is a very awkward and uncomfortable situation.

Recently I was called to speak to the leadership of a group with whom I serve.  To summarize, my vote differed from the vote of everyone else. Our group always usually has unanimous votes, and the leadership was uncomfortable when that didn't occur. I am grateful that they asked to hear my perspective. But there is no question that I felt awkward and uncomfortable entering into that meeting.

What a comfort it is to know that God is good all the time. God knows what's going to happen. God is always with me. As I read through the "armor of God", I think about having my feet "fitted with the gospel of peace." Your feet are what take you places. We should use our feet to carry us, along with the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation, towards the goal of the peace.  And with the sword of the Spirit, which his the Word of God, we should speak through our mouths with words of integrity.

James talks about the tongue being a "ruthless evil full of deadly poison (James 3:8)." It is easy to see how negative discussions could break down into an unproductive session of anger and resentment. But if all parties enter into a discussion with truth, righteousness, salvation, and faith, with the intention of finding peace, submitting to God's authority for their words, the power of God will be palpably present in that meeting room.

As you walk into uncomfortable situations, let your feet take you towards a goal of peace. As for the meeting I was worried about, it says a lot about the integrity of the leaders that they asked for a meeting with me in the first place.  It was clear that they brought their integrity to the meeting as well, and it was a peaceful and productive experience.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Doggy Doggy Eats Here

One of the joyful pleasures of motherhood is the simple love expressed from our small children. My children are quickly growing up. The texture of our relationship changes as they change, and I am humbled and encouraged seeing them become young adults. Not long ago, my son created a scavenger hunt for his dad and me, with silly riddles that led us around the house. At this point I don't even remember what the prize was, it is the journey to the prize that fills my heart.  

In Psalm 139:23-24, David writes:

"Search me O' God and know my heart. 

Test me and know my anxious thoughts. 

See if there is any offensive way in me 

and lead me in the way everlasting."   

"Test me" he says.  At a young age David was anointed king, but was not to become king until the death of Saul in battle. He spent years in hiding, on the run, being chased by Saul who was envious of him. Saul tried to change his ordained future with his own personal actions. Of course, that did not work out for him. And he did not know he was being used by God to strengthen David, to turn David into the best king of Israel. 

Why was it that my son's scavenger hunt filled my heart? It was because I knew it took an hour or more for him to make the strips of paper, and plant them around the house. I saw the joyful anticipation on his face as we moved from one riddle to the next.  If we could see the riddles of life as God's joyful way of preparing us for something greater, how would that change our perspective?

A life without conflict is not a life worth having. A marriage without conflict will not grow. A Christian without conflict will have a harder time trusting God in the deepest, darkest places of their life. Sometimes it is the "journey to the prize" that matters the most.

Finding Kingship in the Search for Donkeys (1 Sam Chapter 9)

I find it interesting to read 1 Samuel chapters 9 and 10 about how Saul became king of the ancient Israelite people. He was simply searching for his father's donkeys, and his servant recommended that he seek the advice of the local sear to help find them.  Little did Saul know that Samuel was waiting on him.  And he certainly did not know that Samuel was told by God that his visitor would be the first king of Israel. We see Saul's response in chapter 10. Despite being shown several miraculous signs on the way home to his fathers house, and despite having the Spirit of God descend upon him and change him, he still tried to hide among the supplies. It must have been striking for him to learn that one cannot from hide God.

I wonder what other blessings sometimes fall upon us when we are not looking for them. Saul was simply looking for missing donkeys. While I do not expect us to be considered for the blessings of becoming a king or queen, I wonder how many times we have stumbled onto good things when we were on the search for something completely different.

More troubling yet, I wonder how many times we miss the blessings of God because we are "hiding among the supplies". Perhaps it is best that we also remember that we cannot hide from God.  This is true for both the purpose God has planned for us, as well as the blessings He plans to bestow on us. Sometimes we focus so much on the former that we also forget the latter. May we simply focus our energy on being obedient, fully open and receptive to the call God places in our hearts, and the provisions He provides to us in the process. May we always see these provisions as blessings.