All is Well When You Hug the Mushroom

Too much of the time, silliness is lost in our serious culture.  This gets everyone all bound up in knots.  Too many people live their life frustrated and bitter, but it is amazing what a little bit of laughter can do. Sometimes you need to watch a funny movie.  Sometimes you need to watch a comedy stand up routine.  Sometimes you need to hear your favorite song from high school.  And sometimes you need to hug a mushroom.

As I posted two days ago, my family is currently on a trip to the Great Wolf Lodge.  I have enjoyed seeing my husband be silly with our kids, shooting people with the water cannons and laughing on the tube rides.  My kids are quickly starting to get too old to enjoy the children’s water fort present in many water parks.  So when my daughter acted silly and encouraged me to come with her under the big water mushroom and hug the base, I happily complied.

There is a reason why families should go on vacation if they are financially able.  The time away from our hustle and bustle can be a much needed relief.  But this essay is not about going on vacation and spending money.  It is about going different places and feeling free to act silly without worrying about what others might say or think.  After all, I don’t know any of these people anyway, other than my three other traveling companions known as my family.  I cherish the time they are willing to be silly along with me.

So wherever you are right now, at home, at work, or at play, take some time to be silly.  Remember what it feels like to have a big belly laugh.  As a physician, I have seen the power of a positive attitude as patients are healing from illnesses and injuries.  Those that can laugh at themselves fare the best. Laughter really is good medicine. 

Telling Time by Bucket Dumps

One of the reasons I started this blog was to have a platform for other essays I have written in the past. Today my family is taking a long-weekend trip to the Great Wolf Lodge in Grapevine, TX.  It seems relevant to post this essay now, written during our last trip on 12/27/13.

Telling Time by Bucket Dumps

Sitting and resting is not something I do well as often as I should.  We opted to do a weekend getaway to the Great Wolf Lodge for Christmas Break, and I took a few days off of work.  I went “off the grid,” so to speak.  No answering messages or attending to clinic needs.  After spending the beginning of the fall transitioning from the resignation of one of my partners, and the end of the fall covering for another provider who was on medical leave, I opted for a much needed break.

The Great Wolf Lodge has an indoor waterpark, with a large bucket that dumps water every few minutes.   After playing with the kids in the wave pool, lazy river, and tube rides, we opted to retreat to the adults-only hot tub.  I sat there watching the bucket dump.  Our kids are in the water castle right across from us playing in the water features.  Two Bucket dumps. 

Have you ever noticed that being still and resting is much easier in a hot tub.  I have energy in the legs to run amok in a waterpark….until I get in the warm bubbles.  Then I sit there in a stupor thinking of nothing, watching the bucket dump.  Three bucket dumps, my kids wave to us happily.

The rules were that the kids, who are very good swimmers, can go where they want in the water park, as long as they stay together.  Three Bucket dumps, now I have not seen them in a while.  I guess they went elsewhere. 

Four Bucket dumps.  I’ve been in here a long time, and we really should find our kids.  Okay, I’m going in just another minute. 

Five Bucket dumps, okay now we’re really getting out.

We looked all around for them….the wave pool, the lazy river, the tube rides, the castle.  Seven, then eight bucket dumps. Even looked in the kiddie pool, which we really did not think they would visit.  And where were they?  Tucked in the side of the waterpark, in the corner, was the kids-permitted hot tub.  Okay that makes sense.

Nine Bucket dumps….  I love this place.

The Path to Discernment Sometimes Has Bumps

12/22/15

Not too long ago I was angry.  Really angry.  Steam coming out of my ears angry. I learned several things from that experience.

1. Anger is unpleasant.  This anger robbed me from feeling the joy from several fun family events as the negative thoughts kept replaying in my head. 
2. Anger is unproductive.  In the midst of my severe anger I could not fully see a path toward fixing the problem. 
3.  Anger is often pride in disguise.  Many Christian friends will talk about “righteous anger” and point to the biblical story where Jesus turned over the merchant tables in the temple.¹  Do we really feel we have the same level of authority or discernment?
4.  Anger is not the same as discernment.  In fact anger usually does the opposite as it clouds our thinking and judgment. It is possible that our knowledge about a situation (discernment) may have triggered our emotional feelings of sadness, frustration, or anger (the emotional response), but once anger takes its full form our discernment becomes compromised.
5.  Anger keeps us from seeing the best in others.  Often the people with whom we get the most angry are people we care the most about.  Once our anger settles down, we realize that the person who was the object of our anger still has valuable skills and positive attributes. 
6.  Anger is repulsive.  Anger “rubs off” on others around us, contributing to negative work environments and dysfunctional family units.  People do not want to be around others who are angry and bitter.
7. Anger is not a fruit of the spirit. We have the power within us to produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.²  This is what is needed in our families, our work environments, and our communities today.

When I was growing up, I lived near to my great-grandmother. The whole time I knew her she was a nasty, bitter woman.  Sure, she had some moments when she was happy and would smile, but these were far outshadowed by the negative undercurrents of bitterness that ruled her life.  She would argue with the family and yell at the neighbors.  She would criticize and threaten people.  Never once did I ever meet someone who envied my great-grandmother’s bitter and cold life, nor tell me that I should grow up to “be like her.”  As I grew older I learned that she had not always been that way.  Her husband developed multiple sclerosis early in their marriage, and in the 1930s there was not much medical science could do.  She watched him become crippled and die of pneumonia in his early 40s.  She was then left to raise two children as a single mother.  Somewhere along the way, bitterness grew a deep root into her soul that had gripping effects for the rest of her life.  How truly sad and tragic. 

What became of my own, personal anger episode?  Once the raw emotions of the event dampened down, I found discernment was waiting for me like a faithful friend.  I was reminded that the person with whom I was angry was still an excellent leader with strong management skills. We had a productive meeting where we aired our concerns and created a useful plan to address the problems.  Rather than stumbling over the rubble of a broken relationship, our work environment became more positive and effective.  Did anger play a role in creating this need to have the discussion?  I guess so.  But anger did NOT create the effective solutions to the problem.  Discernment did that, once anger was expelled. 

¹ Matthew 21:12-13

² Galatians 5:22-23

Accepting the Maybe

A strange thing happens when a person turns 40.  Sometimes it does not happen right away.  Sometimes it takes a few months or years.  But most of the time, when a person turns 40, they change.

Sometimes it is not a big change.  Sometimes it does not happen all at once, but nearly everyone changes.

For me, I spent the prior decade in my occupation developing leadership skills that enabled me to do a lot of cool things, only to find at age 41 that I was overextended, lacking focus, and grumpy.  I also saw key friends around me getting divorced and “changing” themselves, sometimes not for the good.  The grumpiness turned to cynicism, and cynicism to anger and frustration.  That is no way to live.

A meltdown ensued, followed by a refinement by fire and a long introspective look about where I feel God is leading me, and where my God-given talents should be best used. I had to let go of some things that I once thought were important.  I had to change my outlook on life.  I had to choose to begin seeing things in the positive and not the negative, and that is what this blog is all about.

Was that my “midlife crisis?”  I certainly hope so and pray it is over with.  I know that this life change is not yet over for some of my loved ones, nor do I think others have started it yet.  All I can say is dispelling bitterness is good for you regardless of your age in life.

This blog is all about living out Philippians 4:8: 

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable; if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think of such things.

This does not mean that we give up our battles or turn our lives away from things that we cherish.  What it means is that we proactively look for things to be thankful for, and channel our energies to those areas where we can make the most impact. 

I am also reminded of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Imagine our lives without envy, boastfulness, pride, rudeness, self-centeredness, and anger.  We cannot control these negative attributes of our world, but much freedom and joy comes from trying to rid these qualities from ourselves.

The title of this blog was inspired by an essay I wrote in Fall 2015 called “Accepting the Maybe.”  As humans we tend to hold onto bad things that happened to us in the past, and can become cynical and untrusting.  While it is true that we should learn from our past experiences, it is also true that we cannot let our past limit the potential of our future.  Maybe things are different now.  Maybe the people around us really can be trusted.  Maybe we are all in this together.  Maybe we can achieve more if we work together rather than against each other.  Maybe we should start “accepting the maybe.”

If you are ready to start thinking more positively about this world, then this blog is for you.