Put your Worries in a Box

I once received excellent advice regarding a stressor I was dealing with. This was a stressor that would stick with me for over a year. It was to be a marathon, not a sprint.

This person told me that I needed to begin to think about putting my problem “in a box.” There would be times when I could do something about the issue, and times when I could do nothing. In the times that I need to take action, I should take the problem “out of the box,“ take care of the issue, then put it “back in the box."

When there are times that we can do nothing about our problems, we rob ourselves of joy by worrying about them. I agree that these issues are often very important. When it is time to take action, we certainly must. Yet when there is nothing more we can do about it, we need to corral our worries. Worrying never solves any problems, it often simply leads to new ones.

Worry sometimes encourages us to do things that are not smart. Worry sometimes clouds discernment, and makes us less able to see truth. Worry sometimes makes us feel worthless and unworthy. Worry robs us of the things we can do now, by making us stay focused on things that we can do nothing about.

I believe that worry is inspired by our enemy. It is true that the Holy Spirit will convict us when we do things we shouldn’t, but that conviction usually leads to good fruit. Worry usually leads to bad fruit, and serves no useful purpose.

How do we overcome our feelings of worry? By consciously focusing our minds on the things of God! Philippians 4:8 is an excellent place to start. "Whatever is good, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think on such things." The struggle we are going through is not good, but there still is good in the world. God will use the stressers somehow for his good purpose. God still loves us through it all. We still have a reason to hope! We must find the sources of hope, and meditate on those things.

Friends, put your worries in a box! When it is time today to take action on your struggles, trust the good counsel around you and the indwelling Holy Spirit to help you know when that needs to occur. Say your apologies. Offer forgiveness, to those who wronged you and to yourself.  

Don't wait for your problem to resolve before you start to find joy again in the world.  As you search for things to be thankful for, your worries will corral themselves.  

Finding Joy in the Christmas Season

I came to recognize last week that I was not yet in the Christmas spirit. That conclusion left me rather sad.

This is a very busy time for my family, and sometimes it seems like we are treading water through homework, end of semester projects, and Christmas band and choir performances. Not to mention the holiday duties to purchase presents, send Christmas cards, and attend Christmas parties. There is a strong challenge to have the "busyness" rob us of the joy of these Christmas activities. We must fight against this.

Christmas can be a difficult time of year for many people. Sometimes people mourn love ones they have lost. Sometimes people struggle financially to buy presents for those they love. Sometimes people are just under a lot of stress, and the holiday hustle and bustle takes away what is left of our coping strategies. There must be a way to overcome this.

I decided it was time for me to look for and grab onto the joy of the holiday season! Purchasing and giving gifts pale in importance to understanding and acknowledging the beauty of what God did for us by sending his son to Earth. Helping our children understand the importance of the Christmas story is the best gift we could ever give them. At Christmas we purchase and give gifts out of appreciation, to show others a small piece of the love that God gave us. Even a small affordable gift can bring joy in the eyes of a child. We should not let the Devil put guilty thoughts in our head saying that the gift was “not enough." Those negative thoughts will suck the joy out of any holiday gathering.

We should fight back against the “busyness” of the season, turning down activities that we do not feel directly inspired to participate in, so that we have time to rest and experience the true joy that this holiday brings. If we have stress from various life situations, we should fight back against pondering on those problems too much.

We should give thanks for our family members still present with us. While we may grieve the loss of other family members that have passed, we should fight back against having that grief rob us of the joy we can experience with the family members we have remaining.

We should give thanks for the financial resources we currently have, the car we are driving, the roof over our heads, and the food in our mouths, and worry less about the perks of life that we wish we could give our spouse, our kids, or our other family members. The Devil wants us to feel like we’re not good enough, and we must remember that those negative feelings are not coming from the indwelling Holy Spirit.

We should give thanks for the education that this country provides our children, and the enrichment that extracurricular activities provide. While the end of semester homework and holiday school activities can be stressful, we should embrace the knowledge that these activities are enriching our children. And we should be grateful for discernment when we realize that these activities are not enriching our children, and steer them away.

We should give thanks for our friends and family that wish to spend time with us, in the form of holiday parties and holiday gatherings. While it is true that we might not be able to visit with all of them, we should remember that, in the end, relationships are the only things we take with us to heaven.

If we struggle with feelings that we are not good enough, we should recognize that that these thoughts most assuredly are coming from the Devil. God loves us so much that he sent his only son in the form of a little baby to live among us, and later die for us. We should never forget how much God loves us.

Bask in the joy of God’s love this Christmas season! Don’t worry about the gifts that you are not able to give others. Don’t worry about the bad decisions you made this past year, as this most assuredly does not define your worth to God. Do not let the busyness of this holiday season rob you of the joy of the Lord! Rejoice, for the Lord has come!

The Balance Between Fun and Fear

An essay from our vacation, Summer 2017

Our summer vacation made me ever aware of the need to balance fun with fear. Sometimes what my family thought was fun caused much fear in me.

Our pastor says "Fear is faith in the enemy," and that is not a good thing. Yet he also reminds us that God lets us have free will, and sometimes we live with unpleasant consequences when we do unwise things. So how do we balance this?

In my profession as a physician, I simply know too much sometimes. I have seen people with severe injuries from accidental causes. I don't want to be too cautious that I steal my kids' fun, yet protecting them is one of my jobs as their parent.

When they see a large glacial rock or a large, knobby tree with low branches, they see a fun climb. Yet when they go up too high, I see a tibia sticking out of their leg or a devastating traumatic head injury. That fear takes away my fun. Which of us is right?

I found that this trip helped me learn more about my kids' abilities. They are stronger, have more balance, and more endurance than I knew. Once I learned that I was less fearful.

But sometimes, I still see a tibia sticking out of their leg. Look away, Mom, look away.

It's Good To Need Help Every Now and Then

This past spring (May 2017), my husband took a two week mission trip to the Philippines.  I remain grateful to those family and friends who helped me with the kids when he was gone.  Thank you!

It's good to need help every now and then. In those times, we are reminded of the people who love us and who we can count on, and others are blessed by helping. I am fortunate to have such wonderful family and friends.

I am, by nature, a type A personality, and I do not like to ask for help very often. It is good for me to be pushed to the point where I simply need to reach out. My husband's recent two-week mission trip to the Philippines gave me several opportunities to do that.

For many different reasons, my parents have not yet had an opportunity to stay with the kids and take care of them full-time for more than a few hours. It made their hearts happy to spend several days with us, and take care of the kids while I was on a two day business trip. They did an excellent job getting them ready for school, taking them to evening school events, and meeting their daily needs.

Sometimes my work schedule required me to have a helper to transport kids to school or to other events. Several people stepped up to volunteer.

One day my son was ill and had to be picked up from school. He had a high fever, and needed to be assessed at urgent care. One of his aunts jumped at the chance to help out, and went above and beyond simply taking him home. She brought him to me, had him seen at urgent care, and gave him some medicine, soup, and Gatorade to make him feel better. And she did it cheerfully.

It is good for us to need help every now and then. This gives the people who love us an opportunity to shine, and it helps us remember how truly blessed we are to have them in our lives.

Talk Where Your Feet Are Walking You

I continue to think about the "armor of God" and all of its parts (Eph 6). The "feet fitted with the gospel of peace" always puzzled me, but I think I'm starting to understand that now. Our communities could use more "feet" focused on peace.

Your feet are what take you places. They are what carry around your helmet of salvation, breastplate of righteousness, shield of faith, and belt of truth. And they are what take your mouth to places so that you can breathe life into people with the Word of God. The problem is that many times our feet are on a path in the opposite direction of peace.

What are our goals for this country? We cannot assume that everyone that enters our paths will be walking with integrity. But we should be sure we are doing so ourselves. I believe we will have a greater chance of peace if we try to find the integrity in those around us. And we need to trust that God will work all things for good, regardless of the actions of other people. We cannot let our mouth speak poison! James 3:8 makes it clear that would be a "ruthless evil" and certainly is not befitting of God's people.

Talk where your feet are walking you. May it always be with intention of reconciliation.

Staring at the crosses on the wall

There is something surreal about sleeping on a blowup mattress on the floor of a borrowed church.  Our youth group is on a mission trip at Mission Arlington, and I am providing charity care at the associated clinic.  Tonight as I drifted off to sleep I saw the light shining through the cross-shaped decorative window.  It was impressive how one window can catch the light from several directions and shine a reflection all across the long wall in the church, making 8 cross-shaped figures.  One window, catching the light from several outdoor street lamps, magnified and clarified the light in a brilliant display all along the wall.  

This led me to think, "How am I allowing the power of Christ's cross to magnify and clarify the light of the Holy Spirit living in me?"  As we allow our gifts and talents to be used for the God who designed them, Christ's cross will clarify and magnify those efforts.  And what a beautiful display that could make on this world. 

A Thorn in the Flesh

Few doctors like to be patients.  In fact, most patients don’t like to be patients.  

Doctors are a special kind of patient.  They are used to being in control, understanding things, and instructing others on what to do.  It is an act of submission to be a good patient, and that does not come naturally to all doctors.  In fact, that does not come naturally to many non-physician patients either.

One of my colleagues passed away from complications of a neuromuscular degenerative disease called amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, or ALS.  His obituary commented that he redefined the acronym ALS as “Always Love the Savior.”  The parallel here to our Christian walk is clear—we are called to submit to God’s will for our lives, even if that means struggle, hardship, or pain.  And even if that means that we have to endure sickness or disease. 

In 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Paul talked about his “thorn in the flesh.”  “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh.”  When he pleaded with God to have it removed, God’s response was “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Paul’s response was to “delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  What does it take for us to have a faith like that?

What can these “thorns in the flesh” do for us now?  With regard to illness “thorns,” they often help us remember to live each day to the fullest, being grateful for the time we have to spend with our family, and joyful of the abilities we still have.  It can keep us focused on what it really means to be a Christian.